Rap is Better When It’s Ridiculous, Truth

by foxxxrob

This isn’t a post making fun of Kanye West.  Kanye jokes are lame and done to death.  I doubt anyone will top South Park so any other jokes about this lyrical wordsmith are pretty much pointless.  Is he kind of crazy? Yeah. Is he the most ridiculous person in the world? Not yet, but Kim Jong Il is pretty close to death, if he isn’t already some weird corpse puppet.

Making fun of things like Kanye’s tweets is amusing, but at this point I find it hard to hold him accountable for things he basically says and does on accident.  I mean the man obviously can’t control himself.  Can there be any commentary more amusing than the actions themselves? I don’t think so.

There is one thing Kanye West does control, rather well in fact.  That is his music.  I love Kanye West, I once road tripped it to Chicago to go see him in concert, it was awesome.  I have all his albums and think they’re just super.  His new album, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”, is no exception.  One thing I noticed while listening to this album though, compared his past work, Kanye has a lot of ridiculous one liners in this one.  I mean RI-DIC-U-LOUS.  Some of them are pretty easily heard, others could possibly be missed or misinterpreted.  Again, I’m not here to mock, merely marvel at the sheer absurdity of some of these gems.


so much head I woke up in Sleepy Hollow

-Other than being a talented musician is there a more important skill for a rapper to have than a comprehensive knowledge of pop culture?

Too many Urkel’s on your team that’s why you’re Winslow

-Why no, no there isn’t.


I treat the cash the way the government treats AIDS

I won’t be satisfied til all my niggas get it, get it?

-I still feel bad for the CIA intern that had to bang that monkey

choke a South Park writer with a fish stick

cause the same people that tried to black ball me
forgot about 2 things, my black balls


Fuck SNL and the whole cast

I don’t need yo’ pussy, bitch, I’m on my own dick

-Make fun of him all you want, but he IS self aware.


Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh
I put the pussy in a sarcophagus

-Incidentally this song will now be playing in the love scene for my “Mummy Whisperer” sequel

Now she claiming I bruise her esophagus
Head of the class and she just want a swallowship


Housekeeping, I mean goddamn
One time, let it be a bad bitch sweepin’

-Kanye West has ugly maids and is mad that he can’t have sex with them because they are ugly and he does not like ugly chicks


Ichabod Crane with that motherfucking top off

-And the award for most Washington Irving references in a rap album goes to…(they have a Grammy for EVERYTHING)


well I guess a lot of niggas do gang bang
and if you run trains, we all in the same game

-If you have group sex with your friends, you and Kanye West have something in common…I guess


The signs of truth were tattooed across our open ended vagina


As you can see, a lot of ridiculous lyrics.  Kanye West was already an awesome producer/rapper, but if he keeps pumping out one liners like these he probably should be granted the title lyrical wordsmith.  Seriously.

To stay with the theme of ridiculous rap, there is one other rapper that I am currently obsessed with.  Nicki Minaj.  I love Nicki Minaj, a lot. It’s becoming a problem. I have watched both the shows “Monique” and “Chelsea Lately” just to see Nicki Minaj.  Pretty fucked up, right?

I have Nicki’s new album, it’s okay.  There is one song though, that can compete with any amount of ridiculousness that Kanye West throws out there.  It’s a song featuring Eminem called “Roman’s Revenge.” Unless you get her album you’ll probably never hear it because there’s no way it’ll be on the radio.  I won’t spoil too much but these are the two things I gathered from this song: 1) Nicki Minaj decided it would be cool to make the chorus a giant Dungeons and Dragons reference.  2) If you illegally download Eminem’s music, and happen to be a bitch, he will tie you to a bed and pee on you while filming it. You’ve been warned bitches.

Wasn’t that aggressive? Nicki Minaj has pretty much replaced Lil’ Kim.  Although nothing will ever top Lil’ Kim’s all but forgotten line from the South Park album “Chef Aid”: You think I’m pussy? I DARE you to stick a dick in this! Classic stuff really.

Oh and in case you were wondering, this is the exact opposite of that Nicki Minaj song.

Blue is our color, and blue is our other color, if you were to ask I wouldn’t recommend another

Not quite “pussy in a sarcophagus” but I still like it.

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