…on the Hot Hippie Chick
A little disclaimer before this post. I wrote most of this while trying to overcome a pretty harsh cold/sinus infection type thing. Most of it I wrote hunched over my computer in my snuggie, clad in some sort of late-in-life Howard Hughes-ian type clothing. So please excuse the disjointed sort of nature of all of this, and probably the lack of funny.
As a fan of bluegrass, various jam bands and electronic acts, I have been exposed to a certain archetype at concerts and music festivals. I recently saw a great bluegrass band play a show and I was utterly blown away by a few of the concert goers.
Enter the Hot Hippie Chick:
Location: Usually dancing somewhere in the back of the venue during a concert or out in the field area for maximum hoola hoop space at a music festival
Hair: dreadlocked, beads woven in, often covered with a bandana.
Attire: tank-top usually, some sort of sarong type skirt.
Shoes: Sandals or none.
Odor: Patchouli and kind bud
Other characteristics: Her face sometimes covered in glitter/paint designs. The same goes for the rest of her body.
Demeanor: Under the influence of many fun and mind expanding(i.e. self-destructing substances)
I can’t understand why I find this type of person so attractive. I mean, were I able to land one, I’m almost 100% certain that under that Indian looking skirt is a pair of incredibly hairy legs and were I to remove her underwear I would probably be greeted with a sight not unlike staring down at Albert Brooks from a second story window. But you know what? I don’t care. Maybe the smell of good weed and patchouli has some sort of pheromone effect on me.
She is probably on drugs a fair amount. Do you know what this means? Access to sweet drugs! No longer will you be worried about scoring a tenth of molly for that EOTO show, she will have the hook-up. Need to find a quick eighth, bam! Need someone to see pretty much any band that has somewhat groovin’ elements, you have someone to go with, who also likes to get fucked up.
She is most likely employed at one of those organic bakery/veggie restaurant/farmer’s co-op sort of place. Which means access to tasty AND healthy food most of the time.
Sure you might have to put up with a lecture every once in a while about something like chem trails or the evils of drinking out of plastic cups or the benefits of wearing some crystal necklace to recharge your zero point energy field in order to connect better with the ascended karmic masters of gaia. But I’ll take that over some bleached blonde girl with a gorgeous face and a smart chest going off on how “comrade Obama is taxing daddy.”
Now, the Hot Hippie Chick is not someone you want to date. One can’t always be fucked up and have sweet rolling sex. And have you seen the friends that the HHC usually hangs out with? Not worth putting up with in the long haul. The people that hang out with the HHC are those dealers that when you buy weed from, they let you smoke a bowl before you go, and you hang out and listen to the sweet STS9 set he just recorded from Langerado in 2008. He’s nice, but the entire you are sitting there you just think, “wow, you’ve peaked sir. This is it for you.” While those people can be a breath of fresh air every once in a while, to help you put your life at your shitty dead end job in perspective, they get pretty damn depressing to be around after a while. And the sad thing is, for many an HHC, that’s what hanging out with them is like.