P. Diddy to Face Horrifying Charges in the Trial of the Millennium

The face of unfathomable evil?

This is without a doubt going to be the trial of the century, nay, the millennium.  O.J. Simpson can cut off the heads of as many people as he wants now, it won’t matter. Nothing is going to top the charges being brought against P. Diddy. What are those charges? Let’s just say, according to Valerie Joyce Wilson Turks, that Diddy did a little unwelcome ditty to her 24 years ago. Then Diddy dittled her child. Finally, Diddy did a big old ditty on the World Trade Center, on September 11th 2001.

Ms. Wilson-Turks has alleged that Sean “P. Diddy” Combs date raped her 24 years ago. He also crippled her child Cornelius Wilson and has molested him semi-regularly for the past two decades.  That and she alleges P. Diddy is responsible for the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11th 2001. Of course he couldn’t do all of this alone. His co-conspirators for the terrorist attack were his ex girlfriend Kim Porter and LAPD beating victim Rodney King. It all seems so obvious now. Truly all one had to do was ask the age old question “cui bono” (who benefits?) to reveal the true perpetrators of 9/11.

How does Diddy benefit? It all goes back to a real estate conspiracy he cryptically mentions in the song “Welcome to Atlanta Coast 2 Coast Remix.” In the song, at the end of his guest verse (skip to the 2:05 mark in the video on YouTube) , he states:

“We still here! And we building FOUR MORE NEW TOWERS!”

At the time most believed this statement to be one of resiliency in the face of a foreign threat.  Now it’s clear. He was mocking the government and the American public for evading capture, or even detection for masterminding 9/11.  The second line brashly tells of his plans to build four towers where there were once two. Not only would he make a considerable amount of money owning such valuable land, but by building four towers he could double the considerable profits made by the previous two. It was an ingenious plan. Of course he would’ve preferred to purchase the land outright, but its owners weren’t willing to sell. Enter 19 brainwashed Saudis who thought they were competing for a record deal and the rest is history. Diddy, you unbelievable son of a bitch.

Pictures of the actual documents are below via Radaronline.com.  You can read the full (real) story here.

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  1. […] It’d be similar to after 9/11 when everyone bought flags and made American flag stuff…my God…maybe it wasn’t Diddy who brought down the towers after all! The owners of craft stores had the most to gain! CUI BONO!!! CUIIIIII […]



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