Tripping (Snow)Balls

Woah. I feel like I just woke up from a hallucinogenic dream. Oh wait, I did. That’s because I spent some time tripping on mushrooms during the snow storm on Tuesday. I, like many people, was pretty damn excited for the forecast of thundersnow and the complete shutdown of the town resulting in a day, or two, off. Little did I know that where I live was directly in the path of the worst of the storm, resulting in a canvassing of 17-21 inches…. Let that sink in for a second. That’s 1.5 times the size of my penis.

As I heard about the impending Snowpocalypse I decided I better get everything in order in case I got snowed in. I stocked up on the essentials: food, beer, and an 1/8 of psilocybin packed fungi. For those unfamiliar, this particular type of mushroom causes a bit of a stomach ache and a badass trip that will rock your world. If you haven’t ever tried them contact your local drug dealer and put in an order, you’ll thank me the next day. 

I began my day with a nice little breakfast, its best to lay down a good foundation as shrooms are quite literally food poisoning. After that it was just a waiting game until my fellow mind adventurers were ready to go. We all sat down with our favorite food accompaniment, many choose peanut butter but I ate mine with an orange. After about an hour of bowl smokage and TV watching things started to get a little funky.

Fortunately we had planned ahead, we had music ready to be played and we were dressed warmly for what would be the first act of our mind altering play. Now, I have a garage that goes unused by cars, naturally my roommates and I see it better fit as an alternative living room and have equipped it with couches and a nice little table. As long as you’re bundled up it also serves as a quaint viewing deck for bad weather. We all migrated to the couches, opened up the garage door and watched the pretty snow fall as we listened to stereotypically drug related music.

We were probably out there for about an hour, contemplating life and thinking about how this might actually be the end of the world when the bitter cold started to get to us. In comes act two, one brave traveler and myself decided a romp in the fresh powder was in order. This turned out to be the best decision of the day. We put on some more layers and headed out into the great unknown. Normally I wouldn’t recommend heading out into public while tripping. (unless you’re at a music festival of course) Fortunately, the blizzard meant that we would have minimal contact with others.

As we start down my street, wading up to our knees in snow, I felt like I was on Hoth. Jokes about cutting open Tauntauns for warmth were made and spirits were high and rising. Uh oh, whats that ahead? Are those people? Shit. Just keep your head down and moving. As we wandered a running joke started to take form. Everything truly looked apocalyptic, exactly how I imagined a nuclear winter would be. This caused my fellow explorer and I to continuously yell, “THIS USED TO BE A TOWN!” “THIS USED TO BE A CITY THAT PEOPLE LIVED IN!” “CHILDREN USED TO GO TO SCHOOL IN THAT BUILDING RIGHT THERE!” “NOW THERE IS NOTHING LEFT!” As those on shrooms are want to do, we kept yelling about everything we saw the rest of the time we were outside. “THIS USED TO BE A CAR!”

Yes. Please.

We then hit up what “USED TO BE A PARK!” This was probably the highlight of my day/trip. At this point I was tripping hard, really hard. This setting was ideal, there were lots of trees to look at, the visibility was probably about 30 yards, and the snow was stilling coming down. At one point in time I confused snow plows on a road behind some trees for monsters, this did not stop me from peeing in their general direction. Is that a playground? IT IS! We crawled all over that sucker. That’s the thing about drugs; they make you feel like you’re 6 again. Everything seemed fascinating and fun. We flew down slides into mountains of snow and jumped off swings at their highest point with no fear. Shrooms also have a tendency to make everything beautiful. After our domination of the jungle gym we sat under a shelter admiring the winter beauty as if we’d never seen it snow before.

Act three, after returning to the warmth of my home we swapped our wet clothes for dry ones and headed back to the garage for some more smoking and to listen to a Flaming Lips playlist. (I know, again, pretty stereotypical) We brought a candle and whenever it got too cold to keep the door open we played with the shadows it made on the wall. By the way, a pair of sunglasses and a beer bottle can make countless images if you put your imagination to it. With my incredible foresight I made a batch of chili in the morning that had been simmering all day. My stomach had finally settled enough to eat it and, for me at least, I was on the come down. I spent the rest of the night drinking at a friends house.

I had, without a doubt, one of the best trips of my life. Unfortunately the next day makes me want to take back every stupid thing I ever said about snow days. I spent it shoveling out the 5 foot snow drifts in my driveway and some of my street as it never gets plowed. Even worse, the whole time I was thinking about how I’m solely doing this so I can go to work tomorrow. What an awful feeling.

Regardless of the wakeup call I got on Wednesday, I want to fully endorse eating mushrooms and playing in the snow. Let your inner child peek through again, if only for a few hours. You owe it to yourself.

4 Responses to “Tripping (Snow)Balls”
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  1. […] than the baseball game. That ended up being a good call, because live exotic animals+weed=awesome. It’s no tripping in a snowstorm I’m sure, but still fun. When we arrived at the zoo I immediately bought some nachos(6). Soon after I […]

  2. […] Two glorious things happened today. One: When I got off the train my testicles didn’t shoot up into my body like the head of a frightened turtle. Two: Pitchers and catchers reported. Spring is almost here, thank you Jesus. If you read this site regularly you know about our disdain for winter.  Some of us can only tolerate it by taking hallucinogenic drugs. […]

  3. […] So what has to happen the day before I leave? Snow. I’m not going to lament the weather anymore, its already been covered, but what awful timing. It’s not just the weather that throws wrenches in plans, […]

  4. […] on this site. Not only did we break down what to expect during the snowpocalypse, but also many, vastly different, experiences during the white […]

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