Domino’s Guide to Handling VD

For many, today is a special day. Gifts will be given, romantic dinners eaten, and couples from around the world will share warm embraces and fuck and stuff.  It’s Valentine’s Day! I’m sure at this point your mom has already called, or if she’s tech savvy sent a nice text, wishing you a happy VD. If you’re in a relationship you’ve probably already spent more money than your significant other is worth, don’t forget that fancy dinner tonight!

Undoubtedly there are many people without a Valentine today and I want to provide a small guide for those lonely souls. There is no judgment here, I too will be alone so I want to encourage everyone to see the bright side of the holiday. If you’re single here are a couple things to keep in mind:

  • You can get as drunk as you want tonight
  • Your chances of finding another lonely and desperate person are probably pretty good
  • You can get as drunk as you want tonight

Let’s break this down a bit shall we? If you don’t have plans with anyone then you have a couple options. You can stay at home, drink, eat chocolate, take some bong rips and watch TV. All of this is completely acceptable. However, you should know that you’ll be missing out on a promising bar night. The other option would be to head to your favorite watering hole, which will be full of singles, and have a few drinks with like minded people.

People that go to the bar on VD are just like you! They don’t care that you don’t have someone to share the day with, they’re probably relieved to see others in the same boat. This shared experience also means no one will care if you decide to get pants-shitting-drunk. Also, since they’ll most likely be single the math skews to your favor for this evening. Take advantage of the liquored up singles, with a little game and some luck you just might make it a special affair after all. If nothing else you’ll enjoy yourself and have a fun Monday, which may be even more important than VD.

They got the idea.

As a service to you I’ve been mulling over an idea to help the greater good this VD. (How utilitarian of me!) If the single people of the world will join me in these steps I think we’ll all have a sexier time.  First, recruit your friends to make a night of it.

Second, get a good buzz going. (you owe it to yourself) Third, plan on kissing one person before the night is over. I’m not saying be creepy but if the opportunity presents itself take it. Look, I understand not everyone is comfortable with getting hot and heavy with a stranger, for good reason, which is why I think one kiss is good enough. Just a peck is all I’m asking.

Think about it. If every single person going out gave one little kiss at the end of the night wouldn’t we all go home a lot happier? For the really lucky people maybe you’ll get a warm body to take back with you. If today is supposed to be all about the love I say we show it to one another tonight. Here, on this blog, I promise to do my part. (Look out BBW! Domino is an equal opportunity lover!) Can I count on you to do the same?

2 Responses to “Domino’s Guide to Handling VD”
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  1. […] I’m hoping that this spills onto the national stage (spoiler alert: it will!) and then everyone can get a chance to hang out in their respective state’s capitol building (BYOB). If you want to look at this as a partisan issue be my guest, but you’d be disingenuous at best. I say this because everyone that’s put a modicum of thought into our economic woes knows that step # 1 for reducing the deficit is to increase taxes on the top 2%. Instead the GOP would rather find ways to reduce pay for some of the lower wage earners in the country – public servants. So sure, if you think this is about fiscal responsibility and not one of the GOP’s longest standing pet peeves I guess that’s OK, Glenn Beck probably needs some new friends anyway, he’s building an army to fight off a caliphate or something. For the rest of us, those that don’t choose to ignore our country’s widening economic inequalities I say STAND UP AND UNITE. I swear to God this has nothing to do with my riot envy… […]

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