The Impossible Task of Dispersing an Angry Crowd with Whom the Police Sympathize

Another day in Madison, another day of Wisconsin protests. What’s more unfortunate? That Republicans in Wisconsin don’t care (yet) that there are 30,000+ people ready to punch hole after hole into that bill like it’s Swiss cheese (AHHH cheese joke!)? Or that the Egyptian protests happened two weeks ago so anyone who feels like fear mongering can compare the peaceful Wisconsin protests to the Egyptian riots?

Really, who cares? The Wisconsin protests have been so thoroughly entertaining that only an unhappy ending could spoil it. In the meantime the ride is too fun to ruin.  The most amusing part up until now has to be the Democratic senators fleeing the state. An act of protest that is perfectly articulated in state senator Lena C. Taylor’s Facebook update.

And although the police aren’t technically a part of Governor Scott Walker’s bill to destroy the collective bargaining rights of public unions, their involvement is testament to Governor Walker’s poor grasp of irony. Good call Governor Walker, send the STATE Highway Patrol to find the people trying to defend the rights of Wisconsin’s public workers.

The Wisconsin protests have been the best American news story of this short year, but there is still room for this thing to get better. Governor Walker is threatening to call in the Wisconsin National Guard, an action that can only end up creating hilarious, tragic, or tragically hilarious consequences.

Everyone's rockin' their Badger gear at the capitol

Shenanigans are no doubt going to abound this weekend in Madison. After all it’s a college town, and according to a Huffington Post story, there have already been “a handful arrests, mostly for individuals who were drunk or trying to incite trouble”.  So far the people of Wisconsin been mostly well behaved though, which is to be expected (and commended). After all this is only a heated political protest, not a football game. People are only so invested in their wages and benefits.

Assuming Wisconsinites keep showing up shit-housed (and c’mon, they’re from Wisconsin) these protests are only going to get more ridiculous. If things continue the way they’ve been going it’ll be the biggest party in the state by Saturday. It’s not helping the bill’s creators that the Packers just came off a Super Bowl victory either. The people of Wisconsin are swelling with regional pride right now. Wisconsin’s boner for itself is tall and mighty at the moment, and its wrath has been directed straight at the capitol building in Madison.

There’s nothing to distract from that regional pride either, because the other thing Wisconsin is known for is being the bastion of public labor unions! So here’s the situation that Wisconsin Republicans are facing right now:

  • 30,000+ people are staging a giant campout in the college town of one of the biggest party schools in the U.S.
  • Those people have spent the last two weeks convinced that Wisconsin is the greatest state in the Union thanks to their legendary football team’s victory.
  • Now those people are defending perhaps Wisconsin’s most important political contribution to the country, and a point of serious regional pride.
  • If they leave, their paychecks and medical benefits will be fucked with.
  • Part of the force that would be used to disperse the Wisconsin protesters are themselves state employees, no doubt feeling solidarity with their civilian counterparts despite being unaffected by the bill.

Good luck with that one Scott. Public workers and protesters of Wisconsin, Godspeed! As long as it doesn’t snow this weekend (temperatures are supposed to be in the high 30’s/low 40’s) I’m sure Madison is going to be a hell of a party. Worst case scenario the National Guard goes Kent State on you, but I mean that’s worst case.

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  1. […] Watch Out for Those Angry Badgers & The Impossible Task of Dispersing an Angry Crowd with Whom the Police Sympathize […]



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