Thank Hermes its Friday!
Its Friday mutha fuckas! Welcome to my weekly installment of TGIF, this week’s theme is: Everybody’s workin for the weekend. A lot has been happening this week, people are still protesting in the land of cheese, Muammar Gaddafi is hell bent on establishing his legacy as a genocidal maniac, and the Academy Awards are on Sunday. That’s all interesting but OHMYGOD did you see what Facebook did with their messages?! ZOMG! Looks like I’ll be spending the rest of my free time reading all the stupid shit I said as a freshman in college. Because self deprecation tends to get a good reception I submit to you, with special emphasis added, a message from 2005:
You know what, I love you too. I’m glad you signed my wall, we really need to stay in touch, youre right. MU is bitchen I hope when u get to SMS or MSU, whatver u kids call it these days, you’ll have fun. Send some messages my way and have a great time.Yoda kicks ass. Lotsalove
Jesus Christ……….. moving on.
Alright, so if you’ve got a 9-5 from Monday morning on your sole focus is getting to the weekend. But what happens if something gets in the way of your big plans? What if all of that excitement that had been building throughout the week is crushed because of some unforeseen event. Welcome to hell readers, welcome to Domino Cortez’s personal hell.
I had a nice little trip planned this weekend, it was going to involve quite a bit of driving, some of which on really rural roads. I’m talking unmaintained gravel here. So what has to happen the day before I leave? Snow. I’m not going to lament the weather anymore, its already been covered, but what awful timing. It’s not just the weather that throws wrenches in plans, there’s always the chance for a vehicle to break down, worldwide food shortage, or rabid prairie dogs hungry for human flesh. You know, normal worries for a traveler. No matter what it is that keeps you from your destination it’s always shitty to get your hopes up for a good time.
So, you’ve put in your time at the job and now you’re left without anything to do. Let Domino offer two solutions. Wherever you were planning on going you probably anticipated partying a bit, unless you’re someone that’s into fitness or are puritanical, in which case we can’t be friends. Keep that party mentality, if you’re stuck at home for the weekend then get out that bottled up energy and disappointment. Drink with friends or roommates, get into whatever state of mind you enjoy. You suddenly have unexpected free time, might as well spend it inebriated.
The next step is to find an X-Box 360 with X-Box live. I’m not much of a gamer myself but just trust me on this. If you don’t have one just track down a friend that does, you can probably just walk up to any 18-25 yr old guy on the street if need be. Next, download for $8 ‘Worms Armageddon’ (USE THE BANANA BOMB!)
Ok, you’re all set. That should keep you occupied for 4 hour intervals for the rest of the weekend, just make sure to put down the sticks to eat, poop, jerk off, whatever. You really will have to remind yourself, that game has the power to turn people into a Korean playing a 4 day long StarCraft battle.
Before you even know it Sunday night will be upon you, work looming just around the bend. I’m sure the trip wouldn’t be that much fun anyway, fucking snow.