Iran Calls London’s 2012 Olympic Symbol Racist, Wins Gold Medal in Irony
As a white male, whenever anything or anyone gets called a racist, bigot, or sexist I always try my best to stay out of it, so that I too am not labeled one of those, except when Iranian people say something is racist, sexist or full of bigotry (I understand that’s pretty racist). Lets face it, a majority of people in that country are super racist, bigoted and flat out sexist (Also a pretty racist comment). You guys elected someone who denied the Holocaust, claimed his country has no gays, and the majority of you are strict followers of a very conservative form of Islam. Don’t get me wrong, I say racist and sexist things all the time, but I helped put a black man in the White House, so it’s cool. Iranians though have no room to call anyone racist.
Iran has recently stated to the Olympic Committee that London’s logo spells out Zion or something so that’s like totally racist to them, which means they’re going to boycott the 2012 Olympics. This brings up several questions. First, we must understand Zionism to understand why it’s so racist to people that hate gays, Jews, and women driving cars. Zionism, according to Wikipedia, “is a Jewish political movement that, in its broadest sense, has supported the self-determination of the Jewish people in a sovereign Jewish national homeland.” This obviously has been established by the creation of the Israeli state. So what’s so bad about the Jewish people having their own state? Well according to Iran, everything. If I asked the president of that country it’d probably go something like this. “Jews shouldn’t have their own homeland because they faked the Holocaust and smeared the good name of the German people, who are totally great guys…no homo.”
The second question this brings up is, what the fuck is the definition of racism in Iran? I think to them it might mean, “The act of Jewish people trying to make a life for themselves in close proximity to us.” Or maybe its more simple, something like “acknowledging Jews as fellow humans.” I understand that the Jews aren’t a race but rather a distinct culture, one that seems to piss everyone off at one point in time or another, seemingly for wanting to exist. I guess they’d piss me off too if I grew up in a desert and wasn’t allowed to masturbate while they sat in their land of milk and honey jacking off like infidels! But I wasn’t born in Iran, I was born in America. So like all Americans I was taught to love all those who are different than I, no matter what my Grandpa says about them.
The last question this brings up for me is this. Who gives a shit if Iran competes in the Olympics or not? Is this going to be like when the USA and the USSR refused to compete when it was in the country of one or the other? If Hamed Haddadi and the Iranian basketball team don’t make the trip to foggy London town, will the Ream Team’s (because they fuck EVERYONE) eventual gold medal be cheapened by their absence? I would miss a black guy dunking over an Arab guy while a white guy talks about it, but I could live without it. The simple answer is no. No Iran, people don’t care what you have to say because your government is like the kids in high school who thought they were cool and everyone cared about what they said, but in reality everyone thought they were a douche and should not possess nuclear capabilities.
The symbol above in question does kind of look like it spells out “Zion”, but it looks a lot more like “2012” as the 2012 Olympic coordinators have expressed. So come on Iran, quit being such assholes. I realize that not every Iranian has the views that I have stereotyped in this piece. I also realize that maybe even the majority of you don’t. As a matter of fact I hope the majority of you don’t deny the Holocaust, the existence of gay people, and think that the Olympics are run by the Elders of Zion. Maybe take a cue from Egypt and Libya and get rid of dicks that do, but that’s a different blog post, for another day.