BREAKING the News.

Yo, stop the presses. (Or whatever the equivalent to the presses is with blogs. Stop the internet? “Yo, Obama, flip that kill switch like your boy Mubarak”. That’s not right; they aren’t really boys.)


This post is the closest I’ll ever get to news on this site. And by news, I mean, I use Twitter as a source. But I need to make a big fucking deal out of this. The other day I was touring Andrew Breitbart’s website (to revisit those journalism virtues, it’s a website that flamboyantly and proudly ignores accuracy, objectivity, and fairness). I took issue with the post, “Shocker: Leftist Reporter Prank Calls Scott Walker”. Throughout the article, author Ron Futrell calls out prank-calling as a “tactic” used by the “left and its activist old media”.

(Keep this quote from Futrell’s post in mind as well, “Every conservative politician in the country should be put on absolute warning that the left and its activist old media will do whatever it takes to trap them.”)

Painting these prank calls as tactics used by the left, I followed up with Ron over Twitter using a misleading alias:

Background on ACORN:  James O’Keefe, with a friend, dressed up as a pimp and prostitute and secretly videotaped their visit to an ACORN branch. As described by Wikipedia, ACORN was a group of community-based organizations that advocated for low- and moderate-income families. O’Keefe took the videotaped conversations with ACORN employees and edited them into accounts of ACORN employees assisting a pimp and prostitute on tax and legal loopholes. Andrew Breitbart, a conservative who operates the news aggregation website, gave these videos a national platform. The mainstream media picked up the story.

When seen in their entirety and absent the selective edits, the videos proved the ACORN employees did not share dishonest information. Doesn’t the mainstream media fact check anymore? That’s so lame-stream media (Thanks, Palin). ACORN lost their federal funding which led to the organization filing for bankruptcy and closing down in November 2010. Sorry, disadvantaged people.

So the tactics of the left and its activist old media have become the tactics of the right and its activist new media.

Futrell picked up on my tweet and decided to respond:

Um, what? The liberal blogger who tricked Scott Walker is not a journalist. And James O’Keefe is a journalist? (….Am I a journalist now, too?)

As you might have heard, O’Keefe resurfaced in the news this week with more “investigative” videos. O’Keefe secretly videotaped a top fundraiser for NPR as he espoused his opinions on Tea party and NPR’s federal funding. Collateral damage saw NPR’s CEO Vivian Schiller resign from her job. The discussion has also begun on NPR’s federal funding.

Hey NPR, get out from under your rock. There’s this thing called MTV. It used to have a program called “Punked”.  (It’s understandable that ACORN missed the show, they are too poor to have basic cable.)  NPR was “punked”. Except “punked” now means investigative reporting. It’s really that easy; so easy Ashton Kutcher can do it. (You could argue that NPR was too trusting of the “donors”. But Futrell reminds us in his article that only “conservatives tend to trust others and take people at face value”. He really calls like it is.)

Today, O’Keefe and Breitbart are celebrating like it’s the Houston 500. Circle jerkin’ in the cause of celebration. Over Twitter, our friend Futrell decided to join:

Hyp- hyp- hypocrisy!

Recap: Futrell derides a liberal blogger for prank calling as a tactic used on “perps”. He celebrates a conservative who pranks NPR. The liberal blogger isn’t a journalist. O’Keefe is a journalist?

Do conservatives not hold themselves to the same accountability that they hold the mainstream media? If journalistic integrity matters, Breitbart, why don’t you kick Ron Futrell to the curb? Don’t you, at least, want your website to be accurate and fair? Nevermind, dumb question.

Forget journalistic integrity and ethics everybody! Anyone can be a journalist!

Since I’ve taken on the responsibility of Mr. Journalist, listen to my pitch for a future article. In the run-up to the 2012 elections, I’m going to disguise myself as a Tea party sympathizer and sign-up to contribute my assistance to a local chapter. While undercover, I plan on using secret technology to record everything. I’ll take the video and select the most ignorant stuff. Then, I’ll expose it on this blog. I’ll make sure it really ruins the perception of the Tea party and especially these people.  I’ll make sure these people look bad enough to lose their jobs. Hopefully, I can get it bad enough to really disgrace their names.  Hey, maybe I can get them to look so bad their children won’t talk to them anymore.

…Where will this slippery slope of awfulness lead? More relevant, what kind of tsunami of awfulness will this bring? Was that “too soon”? Fuck it. I write for a blog, where there’s no such thing as “too soon”; or standards.


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