Please David: An Okie’s Plea

I live in a state filled with assholes. I don’t really consider myself one. I wasn’t born here after all, but it’s where I’ve spent the most of my time in my few decades of existence. I have always had a sort of weird sense of pride being from here. The state is full of … Continue reading

To My Neighbor

Man, I get it. Being in a relationship can be really trying experience, it really can. But seriously dude, you’re going about it all wrong. From what I gathered, you don’t actually live in my building. Anyways, your girlfriend (boyfriend?) lives across the hall from me. She/he has that fucking parakeet, cockatoo, parrot, whatever, it’s … Continue reading

The Best of February

  In case for some reason you missed any of the brilliant articles we wrote during the most depressing month of the year, here they are: My Snowpocalypse Diary The personal diary I kept while attempting to survive the epic Snowpocalypse of 2011. Spoiler alert, I died and all posts published since have been authored … Continue reading

Bukowski Moments

Before I begin this post, I’m going to fill you in a little bit about my nom de plume (For those of you that don’t speak French, or have are lacking a basic level of education, that means “pen name” or, to dumb it down further “that where after I type some stuff I sign … Continue reading

Life Without Cable

Ever since a tender age, I have felt a certain amount of comfort, even reassurance from the radioactive glow of a television set. I remember the highlight of my weekdays growing up were at 6:30 p.m. when “The Simpsons” came on. I’m of the opinion that syndicated episodes of “The Simpsons” did as much to … Continue reading

They Just Don’t Make ‘Em Like They Used To. (Part 1)

As the Super Bowl looms ever closer, there are some who say this game in particular is tainted due to one quarterback’s problems with “containment,” he has no trouble “forcing plays,” he likes to “pick apart unsuspecting defenses in bar bathrooms in Georgia.”  Anyways, with such a degenerate playing in his third Super Bowl, I thought I … Continue reading

The Best of January

I have a feeling that after seeing the title of this post you, as the reader, are asking yourself one of two questions: 1) Are they really that lazy that they’re going to use up a post rehashing old posts instead of writing something new? (yes) 2) Are they really so arrogant that they think … Continue reading

A Synopsis of “The Dilemma” by Someone Who Has Only Seen Two Previews.

So, Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are best pals. They work together in Chicago. They have been bff’s for like, ever. Lived on the same block, lit flaming bags of crap on their neighbors steps together, discovered boobs and jerking off at the same time, went to school, always had each other’s backs, etc. They … Continue reading

The 14-16 Hour Rule

It used to be my thing. Not like me personally, in a no one can do it like me or better than me kind of way, but it used to be something I could do with reckless abandon. This skill is known in layman’s terms as “getting drunker than a Kennedy the night before you … Continue reading

…on the Hot Hippie Chick

A little disclaimer before this post. I wrote most of this while trying to overcome a pretty harsh cold/sinus infection type thing. Most of it I wrote hunched over my computer in my snuggie, clad in some sort of late-in-life Howard Hughes-ian type clothing. So please excuse the disjointed sort of nature of all of … Continue reading

Dear Joe,

Joe, we’ve been pals since I was 15. I was a fresh-faced, doughy little youngster who had no idea what life had in store for him. I remember being even littler, when my dad and you were friends. I remember crying and yelling at my father for spending so much time with you. “You don’t … Continue reading

Allow myself, to introduce…myself

Hi. My name is Charles Brokowski.  I’ll be joining Rob, Kyle and that dreadful man from south of the border,  Domino Cortez, in contributing to this chronicle of those whose lives aren’t quite living up to expectations. I am a recent college graduate (recent being May) and a somewhat n00b to that routine, soul crushing, … Continue reading