BREAKING the News.

Yo, stop the presses. (Or whatever the equivalent to the presses is with blogs. Stop the internet? “Yo, Obama, flip that kill switch like your boy Mubarak”. That’s not right; they aren’t really boys.) DRUDGE SIREN! DRUDGE SIREN! DRUDGE SIREN! This post is the closest I’ll ever get to news on this site. And by … Continue reading

The Best of February

  In case for some reason you missed any of the brilliant articles we wrote during the most depressing month of the year, here they are: My Snowpocalypse Diary The personal diary I kept while attempting to survive the epic Snowpocalypse of 2011. Spoiler alert, I died and all posts published since have been authored … Continue reading

The One Where I Objectify Women in the Name of Research

I blog, therefore I am a journalist. Feeling the weight of this responsibility, I googled “journalist integrity definition”. Turns out, with my previous posts, I’ve let the institution of journalism down; I’ve let my fellow bloggers down; more importantly, I’ve let you, the readers, down. Print media has long-held to the standards of accuracy, fairness and objectivity. … Continue reading

Grand Old Wonderland

By Kyle Hanes and Nick Gerhardt Down the rabbit hole of American politics, you can find the best representation of the GOP’s 2012 presidential contenders. What to make of comparing each GOP contender to their counterpart from Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland? Well, it’s President’s Day. So isn’t this ironic? A little too ironic, … Continue reading

What “The Situation” from MTV’s Jersey Shore Can Teach Us About Succeeding In A Tough Economy.

Imagine the scenario: unemployed and down on your luck, you are searching through all of your networks for a lead. You have even tapped staffing agencies for help; nothing is working. Disillusioned by the process, you elect to seek advice. For encouragement, you seek the advice of a self-help guru. You make a trip to … Continue reading

Super Bowl Prop Bets (Part 2)

by Domino Cortez and Kyle Hanes Will the funniest commercial be a Budweiser Commercial? (Yes/No) – Domino Cortez Budweiser commercials and the Super Bowl go together like my stomach and scotch. These are the commercials that dominate my childhood memories and set the bar for other companies. So will a Bud commercial be the best? … Continue reading

The Best of January

I have a feeling that after seeing the title of this post you, as the reader, are asking yourself one of two questions: 1) Are they really that lazy that they’re going to use up a post rehashing old posts instead of writing something new? (yes) 2) Are they really so arrogant that they think … Continue reading

What I Read This Weekend

“Hey.” Me: Hey. “What did you do this weekend?” I listened to an audiobook. “Oh.” This is the first in a series of posts entitled “What I Read This Weekend“. I plan on beginning the series today and continuing every Monday hereafter. Each Monday, I will recap my weekend by highlighting the book/ newspaper or … Continue reading

Playing God, not Kevin Spacey

By Kyle and Andrew Hanes “Only God can judge me”, fabled messiah Tupac Shakur once proclaimed. Well, we’re about to hit this shit harder than the fist of God. And by we, I mean, I asked my brother, Andrew Hanes, for an assist with this essay. Envy: Homeless people not named Ted Williams Ted Williams, … Continue reading

Why Justin Bieber is Historically Important.

If there’s one person who embodies the 21st century, other than Barack Obama, it’s Justin Bieber. Go ahead, laugh it up. Similar to The Beatles and their representation of the British invasion and the social and cultural revolution in the 1960s, Justin Bieber represents social networking’s influence in the Age of the Internet. No, really. … Continue reading

Why the 2010-11 New York Jets are America’s Team.

If Superman represents the way America thinks of itself, and Batman is the way the world thinks of America, then the 2010-11 New York Jets represent what it means to be an American in the 21st century. Similar to pop culture, these Jets are a mirror to our society, a reflection of our lives, a … Continue reading

Why Kanye West’s Crusade Against Award Shows is Important.

As the new year begins, we are treated to the onslaught of award shows. Awards are given out for the previous year’s exceptional work across the entertainment spectrum. While I favor the concept of award shows, I couldn’t care any less about the awards this year. And I suspect you don’t care either; who could … Continue reading

Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself, My Name is…

by haneskc ‘Ello govnah. My name is Kyle. I’m yet another contributor/ “stimulus package” to this blog that is the opposite of “too big to fail”. Whereas Rob’s first contributor, Domino, pointed out his likeness to Denzel as the minority who has overcome his homophobia to help when Rob’s AIDS lesions make it too difficult … Continue reading