Quit Writing about Yourselves Writers!

Whenever I hear someone say they are a writer I normally groan silently to myself. If they start talking about what they write then the groan may become more audible. The thing that makes me just want to kill people though is when writers write about being writers and think that people give a fuck. … Continue reading

Analyzing a First Graders Account of how to Rape a Present

This fine piece of literature was discovered at my job by a coworker. For some reason my place of business gets a ton of drawings and letters from kids, however I have no idea why. Maybe there’s a daycare in the building or something. Anyway, my coworker decided it had to be posted on his … Continue reading

Indiana Jones Franchise is a Theatrical Rorschach Test

I spent a good portion of my Sunday watching the Indiana Jones marathon that was on the USA network all day. Naturally I was really high and did a lot of soul searching in the process. What I realized is that you can tell what kind of a person someone is, simply by asking which … Continue reading

Missouri vs. Kansas: A Biased, Semi-Factual Account of the Deadliest Rivalry in College Sports

Tomorrow, one of college sports bloodiest rivalries will take place once again, Missouri vs. kansas. While this rivalry isn’t as popular as  Ohio State vs. Michigan, or Duke vs. North Carolina, I guarantee you its genesis is way more badass than either of those. I would like to explain how I think the rivalry came … Continue reading

The Best of February

  In case for some reason you missed any of the brilliant articles we wrote during the most depressing month of the year, here they are: My Snowpocalypse Diary The personal diary I kept while attempting to survive the epic Snowpocalypse of 2011. Spoiler alert, I died and all posts published since have been authored … Continue reading

The Most Appropriate Action Cardinals Fans Can Take to Keep Pujols in St. Louis

Recently my biggest problem has become the future of the St. Louis Cardinals. With the recent injury to Adam Wainwright, the three headed monster that is the Cardinals starting rotation has become much less intimidating. This only adds onto the anxiety that many Cardinals fans have about Albert Pujols re-signing at the end of the … Continue reading

This is my Penis, There are Many Like it, but it is My Own…Bitch

I like theatre, I’m also pretty ignorant which is why I try to avoid the show “The Vagina Monologues.” Theres a good chance that I’d probably get kicked out of that fish market for doing something like referring to it as a fish market. However I had the privilege this weekend of going to an … Continue reading

Everyone Has Problems…We Have Problemz

Whiteboy problemz here. I talk about the issues, the stuff that’s really affecting people. Are you down because you got the last pick in your fantasy baseball draft? Been there. Out of 2% milk at your local coffee-house and the barista is being a total dick about it? I got you. Every time you like … Continue reading